Rebound

After the holidays I feel lonely for a few days. With Ian it's the other way around. He has to spend the holidays on his own and is probably relieved that Christmas is over. I haven't heard from him until yesterday. Even though I understand that he must be going through a hard time, not hearing from someone in days usually means he is not that into you. Or worse, you're just a rebound. Getting rebounded is worth less than getting friendzoned. When you're in the friend zone, he may still respect and enjoy to hang out with you (as friends). As a rebound you are nothing. I must know all about it, I almost can't remember the last meaningful relationship I had. I can be stone-cold when it comes to those things, switch off emotions like electricity. That's what Stan is experiencing right now, brushed aside overnight. But as much as I'd like to pretend the Ian thing doesn't bother me, it does a little. I'm never quite as tough as I'd like to be.

Heart of stone

Okay, it's not like Ian is my type or anything. Ian is the hot guy that probably wouldn't notice me if we were still in highschool. I can smell the trouble from a hundred miles away. Do I believe he suddenly might be interested? Possibly. Do I believe he might be the real deal? Are you kidding, certainly not. Would I go out with him if I got asked? Not entirely out of the question.

I've also been taking it extremely slow with Stan. And now I know why. I did like him from the moment we met, but what difference does it make? Do I believe he is the real deal? Most certainly not. Are his texts starting to get on my nerves already? Probably. Do I feel trapped (before anything even started)? Maybe a little. Stan is a very private person, Nev thinks I'm the only person Stan has opened up to. I don't think that's true. We may be talking all the time, but I still don't know anything significant about him. I don't think he knows what he is dealing with and how to handle what's coming. I'm not the one for Stan, that's for sure.

At no point have I lied to anyone. I've always been open about not looking for anything serious. I don't necessarily feel guilty, though I do feel like I should be. I feel like I tricked everyone, except for Nev. For a brief second I felt a little alive again, now I feel more trapped. We all wish we could fix what's broken. But the heart is stone-cold and stone won't melt.

Christmas actually

Lately I've been Christmas shopping a lot. It's easy to find nice things for the girls in my family, they all want Korean beauty products. Once you go Korean there is no going back (to western cosmetics)! ;) It's so much harder to find something for the guys in my family. My Uncle is allergic to alcohol and Asian parents don't read German books obviously. I'm almost relieved my cousin T is not in the country, but he is so vain, no doubt he'd appreciate new clothes... Next weekend my cousin N and I are going to bake cookies for our dads. Aw, Christmas is my favorite holiday in the world.

Stan told me that he got me a little something too. I don't hate the idea, but I'd rather receive nothing, as I have no idea what to get him in return. The pressure is on. We went out yesterday and it felt a lot like a date. I'm totally enjoying the taking it slow part now. And the sneaking around behind our friends' backs. It keeps the intensity up and the anticipation on. I don't know if Pansy will kill us or not (most certainly she will), I'm just trying to have a great time. She already is in a very bad mood, because Stan won't respond to her texts, which is why she calls Nev everyday to complain about it. Nev thinks being overly protective of Pansy is doing her no good.

Friendzoned (Part XII)

There are a few things that I recently noticed about Stan. Remember the first time we met, I thought "what a handsome, but arrogant guy!" Since then it happened twice that we entered a room together, but he didn't offer me the closest seat available. He just sat down, like I wasn't even there. Of course women are more independent nowadays.. Besides, thanks to Stan's behavior I got to sit with some other great guys. But still! This self-centeredness is not exactly a quality any girl is looking for in a potential partner OR friend. I'm glad that I didn't rush into anything. Writing about it makes me despise him even more, though you can't deny the crazy chemistry between us. Sometimes just the slightest touch makes it hard to breathe. Sometimes I want to beat the crap out of him. Nev says that we constantly bicker like little kids. Do I smell serious trouble?

Friendzoned (Part XI)

We texted this morning and like it was the most normal thing in the world, he just let it slip that he liked me. What the... I was totally taken by surprise. How was I supposed to react? What was I supposed to say? Was there even a question that needed an answer? I'm not entirely an ice queen, I'm just not good at expressing feelings and stuff. Exactly one of those situations I'm usually not comfortable with. That's why I pretended nothing had happened. Yes, I ignored it.

Friendzoned (Part X)

I don't have a lot of girl friends. I'm more like one of the guys, someone who jumps up and down and yells at the TV when football is on. When Pansy came talking to me a few months ago, there was this instant connection, I just knew we would get along. That's what I thought. During the last few days, she'd been kinda distant. I didn't think about it that much, maybe she was busy.

Yesterday Stan told me that him and Pansy had gone out once a while back. Although he felt there was nothing there, she'd been hoping there'd be more than just friendship. He said he wanted to be honest with me, he also believed that she'd already accepted nothing would ever happen between them. I wasn't so sure about that. She might be over him, but she'd totally freak out again if I went out with him.

I can't say that I'm glad about this revelation. I can't even appreciate the honesty, because it changes things. I asked L for advice and this is what I got.
"Girl Code or no Girl Code?"
"As long as she hasn't told you herself, then there is no Girl Code!"
"Never heard of this rule before."
"You don't know anything. Are you supposed to read her mind or what."
"So much for becoming a girls' girl."

There is a reason why I have never dated male friends of mine before. This could get real ugly. When things get complicated, I'd rather run off. You can do that to a date, but you can't do that to your friends. Tell them, Zac Brown...

Friendzoned (Part IX)

There have been more mixed signals over the last few days, leaving me curious and unsettled. Now that I can't have it, I want it even more. This is nuts. Once you decide to break out of the friend zone, there is no going back. It's frightening. I'd like to wait until New Year's Eve at the least, because anticipation is the best part of anything and everything. I don't know what will happen afterwards, but it sure as hell won't be as exciting as right now.

[World Cup 2014] Group Stage Participants and FIFA Ranking

Group A: Brazil (11), Croatia (18), Mexico (24), Cameroon (59)
Group B: Spain (1), Netherlands (8), Chile (12), Australia (57)

Group C: Columbia (4), Greece (15), Ivory Coast (17), Japan (44)
Group D: Uruguay (6), Costa Rica (31), England (10), Italy (9)

Group E: Switzerland (7), Ecuador (22), France (21), Honduras (34)
Group F: Argentina (3), Bosnia and Herzegovina (16), Iran (49), Nigeria (33)

Group G: Germany (2), Portugal (14), Ghana (23), USA (13)
Group H: Belgium (5), Algeria (32), Russia (19), South Korea (56)


Gruppen A/B:
In Gruppe A haben Brasilien und Mexiko "Heimvorteil". Kroatien ist ein unangenehmer Gegner, aber ob sie sich auf südamerikanischem Boden durchsetzen können, ist eine andere Frage. In Gruppe B geht man davon aus, dass Spanien und die Niederlande weiterkommen. Dabei sollte man jedoch nicht missachten, dass Chile sehr starke Individualisten hat und in Südamerika zu Hause ist, und die Niederlande wiederum bei der letzten Europameisterschaft in der Gruppenphase mit 0 Punkten ausgeschieden sind. Gruppe B wird ein Kampf auf Biegen und Brechen um den ersten Platz, da keiner dem Gastgeber Brasilien bereits im Achtelfinale begegnen möchte. Auch Brasilien ist nicht zu beneiden.

Gruppe C/D:
Kolumbien ist meiner Einschätzung nach nicht stark genug, um sich als Gruppenkopf zu rechtfertigen, Uruguay hingehen schon eher. In Gruppe C ist es schwer zu bestimmen, wer neben Kolumbien weiterkommen würde. Japan hat ein dynamisches Team mit schnellen Offensivspielern, die Elfenbeinküste hat mit Didier Drogba einen Ausnahmestürmer. Gruppe D ist da weitaus interessanter. Italien wird sich wahrscheinlich als Gruppenzweiter durchmogeln, während England zum jetzigen Zeitpunkt nur Außenseiterchancen hat. Im Achtelfinale sehe ich keine besonders packenden Szenarien, um ehrlich zu sein.

Gruppe E/F:
Es ist mir ein Rätsel, wie die Schweiz es im FIFA Ranking so weit nach vorne geschafft hat, während ehemalige Weltmeister wie Frankreich und Italien weiter hinten bangen müssen. Frankreich hat mit Gruppe E jedoch ein Glückslos gezogen, die Gegner scheinen alle mittelstark. In Gruppe F hat Argentinien nicht nur für die Gruppenphase Schwein gehabt - lediglich Bosnien scheint halbwegs schwer zu besiegen - sondern auch ganz offensichtlich für das kommende Achtelfinale.

Gruppe G/H:
Deutschland und Portugal sind dafür bestimmt einander zu begegnen, so habe ich das Gefühl. Auch wenn C. Ronaldo momentan in der Form seines Lebens ist, bin ich nicht beunruhigt um den Gruppensieg. In Gruppe H befindet sich mit Belgien ein kleiner Geheimfavorit. Komplett ohne südamerikanische Beteiligung gehe ich davon aus, dass Deutschland im Achtelfinale auf Russland treffen könnte, was ein machbarer Gegner wäre. Es würde mich nicht wundern, wenn wir es im Viertelfinale schon wieder mit Argentinien zutun hätten, wie schon bei den letzten beiden Weltmeisterschaften. Jedes Mal dachte ich, es müsste ein Wunder für uns her, und es gab stets ein Wunder. Unter normalen Konditionen wären wir inzwischen die bessere Mannschaft, ob auch in Südamerika wird sich noch herausstellen.

Friendzoned (Part VIII)

It seems like I might have scared him off with my inability to express emotions and embrace them like normal people do. This was the plan, right? I wanted us to be just friends. Now I can go to the New Year's Eve party and not worry that Stan will be right there watching if other guys are hitting on me or not... It's the right thing to do, I just don't feel relieved yet. In fact, I regret it a little. I wish I could take it all back and say something like "Hey Stan, I liked you from the second I first saw you" instead. But I'm not that romantic of a person.

Friendzoned (Part VII)

Just when I was about to think that we weren't a good fit, Stan asked if we were headed towards friend zone or possibly more than that. That was one hell of a straightforward question...! I told him as honestly as possible that I would be lying if I said there was absolutely nothing there. BUT it was also bad timing. After much talking it seemed like everything was good between us, although I knew that it was going to be hard to move past it like nothing happened.

So the next day we hung out with Nev. It turned out to be the most awkward get-together ever. To make matters worse, Stan seemed tense as well. And it was his birthday.

Friendzoned (Part VI)

Winter is coming, I've been sleepless and appetiteless lately. I have this picture of myself standing alone in a crowded street at night, while heavy snow is landing on my head. Winter may already be here.

A divorced colleague of mine complains about not having a special someone in his life, not knowing what to do on a Sunday afternoon. I don't mean to be harsh, but if you feel empty when you're on your own, you aren't gonna be fulfilled when you're with someone.

I had another date-like experience with Stan yesterday. It felt like there could be something there, although nothing happened again. When I look at him right now, I don't regret taking it slow. Despite the chemistry, I still don't know anything about him. Pansy just told me that Stan wasn't gonna go out with us next weekend. I didn't ask where he would be instead. Maybe he was visiting his family, maybe he had other plans. But next weekend suddenly didn't seem fun anymore.

I know this sort of feeling, it can't be happening again. If this is a side effect of feeling alive, then I'd rather be dead inside. How hard will it be in a couple of weeks or months? It's just too hard, I can't deal with it.

Friendzoned (Part V)

The movie on Monday was so bad, I forgot to write about that dude (let's call him Stan). We were actually sat next to each other, but only spoke when the film started and when it ended. Later when all of us went home and I was looking forward to talking to him alone, this other mutual friend of ours (let's call him Nev) decided to walk with us. I mean, really?? His place was the complete other direction! My sis thought Nev's behavior was suspicious too, but what did I care? Maybe this whole Stan thing just wasn't meant to be.

The minute I got on the subway feeling defeated, I received a text - and it was from Nev! How easy and natural it is for some people to just text and say hello. That's it, I decided to send Stan a message. He texted back and asked if I wanted to see another movie on Wednesday, in English. I asked if anyone else was coming. He said there might be another girl from the group. Another girl? Fine with me. I'm not worried about other girls, I'm worried about what I'm doing. Let's be honest, do I look like the movies kinda person? I haven't been to the movies in months, now it's going to be 3 times in a fortnight.

On Tuesday, it turned out that the other girl wasn't gonna come. Stan seemed pretty excited about the movie. We texted back and forth all day. There were mixed signals, I wasn't quite sure. He mentioned that he rarely ever watched anything in English, as he only understood like 70% of it. Who in their right mind would suggest an original version then? But who am I to judge, I'm the crazy person who goes to the movies twice this week and misses the UEFA Champions League.

Wednesday night went alright, I think. I couldn't tell if this was a date or not. It was a little awkward, especially when he patted me on the back to say hi and goodbye. I could have reached out for a hug, but I didn't. Definitely taking it slow, girl, definitely taking it slow. Before you know it you're getting friend zoned. On my ride home I was a little angry with myself. Five minutes later, Stan texted to announce he got home. It kinda saved the day. He suggested that we could do it again if there was a good movie to catch. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all.

All Is Lost (2013, USA)

The movie All Is Lost (2013) copied the storyline from Life of Pi (2012, USA), leaving out the tiger and the beautiful scenery. Considering the tiger was the best part of the storyline, this movie was rather dull. Apart from a short monologue in the beginning, the main and only character Robert Redford spoke exactly 3 times. He said "SOS!", "Help!" and "Help!" or something. Pi from Life of Pi at least was smart enough to talk to himself and communicate with the tiger. In Cast Away (2000, USA ) Tom Hanks found a way to entertain us as well, despite being alone on an island for years.

While the sailboat turned over and over, the camera angle was so bad, I got seasick after 15 minutes and had to close my eyes for another 20 minutes. The audience hated the movie. Everyone thought Redford was meant to die, since he was the unluckiest fella in the world and God obviously didn't want him to survive. When all seemed lost, a mysterious hand appeared out of nowhere and rescued him from drowning. During the credits "Our man" Robert Redford was the only cast member listed. So whose hand was it then? Was it the hand of the tiger, as it wasn't worth mentioning? People say this was one hell of a performance from Robert Redford. Maybe he was good. Compared to Cast Away though, nobody can beat Tom Hanks at his craft, can they?

Friendzoned (Part IV)

Okay, we were supposed to meet up this weekend, but he informed us that he wouldn't make it. Instead he asked if a smaller group was interested in catching a movie on Monday. At first I was a bit disappointed, because I'd been thinking about make-up and clothes all day. Then I got over it really fast, because the rest of us had a great time together and I didn't need to worry about making a fool of myself.

A couple of days ago, a mututal friend passed all our phone numbers around. So we texted each other for a brief moment, but that was it. Right now, I can't even remember what his face looks like. I have no idea what to expect and I'm not as excited any more. That doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. Nothing can go wrong if there are no expectations, right? I usually don't get involved with friends, although it felt really tempting last week.

[International Break] Friendly Games in November

Four days ago I already ranted about our inability to ever defeat Italy. But today is a new day - solid ball possession, great defending (Wow! What just happened?!) and even scoring after a corner (OMG, this is a once-in-a-lifetime moment!). We won 0-1 with a B-side (lacking the likes of Neuer, Lahm, Schweini, Gündogan, Özil, Müller and Klose) against England's A-team at Wembley. The only regulars on the field were probably Mertesacker, Boateng, Schmelzer and Reus. I haven't been so proud of our team in a while. Why can't we be this confident when facing Italy?

It's not like our reserves are weak, we definitely have an overall strong squad. Most of them wouldn't get benched if they played for any other team in the world (Höwedes, Hummels, Kroos, Götze, Draxler, Schürrle, the Bender twins etc.) We just need to seize our opportunities and never neglect the defense. Sven & Lars Bender played 90 minutes as double CDMs for the first time ever, which was quite fun to watch. At times the TV commentators couldn't keep up any more, "Bender passing to his twin brother, the other Bender!" Roman Weidenfeller made his well deserved debut, it certainly was emotional even for someone who does not support Dortmund. All we need now is to be prepared for the South American climate, uh oh.

What else is new? Sweden didn't make it to the World Cup through Playoffs. I feel a bit sorry for them, as they played really well against us in the Qualifying Round. I guess Portugal wanted it more, C. Ronaldo's hat-trick was unbelievable. France made the impossible possible by defeating Ukraine 3-0 at home after having lost 0-2 away. You gotta respect that.

Friendzoned (Part III)

The heart wants what it wants. Or is it the hormones?

It's been a while since I've had such a hard time following through with my own rules. It's bad timing, it's personality differences, it's my own issues, most importantly it affects a new group of friends that I can't risk losing. Coming into this group, neither did I expect nor did I want to meet someone. I knew I'd mess it all up, it most certainly wouldn't be worth a shot.

But here we are now - struggling. This is the first time in a long time that I feel a little bit alive again. We have great chemistry I think. Maybe being able to hang out as friends is better than having nothing at all. By the end of next week I'll know if I'm doing the right thing. I hate to wait this long. Suddenly experiencing all kinds of confusing emotions is overwhelming, although not entirely in a bad way.

Friendzoned (Part II)

First of all: Thank God I went out tonight and didn't endure the friendly game between Italy and Germany! I had predicted a 1-1 draw, that's exactly how it turned out and I wasn't there to jump right at Coach Löw's throat through my TV. Luckily the TV survived! Coach Löw not so much though, I'm sure social media is not so forgiving. This guy will never be able to defeat Italy, everyone knows it, he must know it too.

The other good thing is, I met someone tonight. Some hottie with a great sense of humor who is a bit arrogant. Probably a little out of my league, but I was surprisingly relaxed around him and did not act like an idiot. (At least I hope so, haha.) Sometimes knowing you can just be friends helps, as you won't try too hard and everything will come naturally. Sometimes we need to keep an eye on the overall picture. Sometimes things are just not meant to be. We better accept them, as we can't go through the same heartache again.

Generals of the Yang Family

Back in the Song Dynasty, the Yangs were a legendary four-generations family of male and female war heroes. Even though I've seen tons of movies and series about them, each time there is a new one, I can't help balling my eyes out. It's like knowing the outcome, but never being able to accept how and why it happened in such a cruel way. I enjoyed watching and sobbing through Saving General Yang (HK movie, 2013), it's just that in 90 minutes they barely scratched the surface. The Yangs went on to rebuild an army just as strong led by widows and orphans. It's one of the most inspiring stories I've ever heard.

Friendzoned

There are people who can break out of the friend zone. Who would not mind dating guys from their circle of friends, or colleagues they'll run into everyday. I couldn't do that. Everyone knows I don't go out with guys I'm friends with.

There have been countless times when I felt like bending the rules a little. Going a little further, see what happens. In most situations I'd let it pass and do nothing. I don't like to take the risk, as my "romantic" relationships won't last. When it's over, there is no going back to friendship without awkwardness. Some of those moments when I could have done something different, I do regret, although I remember why I did what I did.

(Today I'm thinking of blue eyes. Not even my type!) So right now, knowing what I already know, I should just stop right there and not play any risky games that I can't win. It surely doesn't feel good, it won't feel better, but it could feel a lot worse. That's the right thing to do.

[International Break] Friendly Games in October

Okay first of all, congratulations to our team that just made it to the World Cup in Brazil! The qualifying against Sweden in two days has now turned into a friendly game for us. I know that everyone has to deal with their own clubs and leagues, but the last time our national team tied 4-4 after leading 4-0. Not winning again would just be unacceptable now.

There are two more friendlies coming up in November against Italy and England. Coach Löw actually said something which very likely enraged the majority of the fans. He said in an interview that they weren't thinking about getting defeated by Italy in the Euro 2012 anymore. Is he f****** kidding me? I usually don't swear a lot, but what the f***! Maybe we wouldn't have to think about this s***, if we didn't get humiliated once in a while! (Almost) nobody who watched it, could ever forget the last minute defeat during World Cup 2006 in our own country, let alone what happened just a year ago! Coach Löw was surprised at people's intense reactions in Poland & Ukraine. Yeah guess what, he'll be surprised that people are still pissed and will be pissed again if this happens again. Not even an army of a thousand brilliant midfielders will help him then, because heads are going to roll.

[Rant] Need trilingual keyboard app for android smartphones

I didn't like the keyboard app that already came with my android smartphone, so I installed Go Keyboard which had all the languages that I needed (English, German, Chinese, Korean.) It wasn't until I accidently came upon free trial versions of SwiftKey and A.I.type keyboards, when I realized how slow and unhelpful the word predictions of Go Keyboard were. I'd always been a fast typer, now everything was going even faster!

SwiftKey was by far my favorite, you could type English and German simultaneously without switching back and forth. How smart was that!! And they suggested what I should write next, oh my God, aren't we lazy nowadays? I was tempted to spend 4 Euros on a pro version if only it provided Chinese. But it didn't. I couldn't buy a keyboard app without Chinese obviously, no matter how amazing the app was. Otherwise I'd have to switch between several apps again. SwiftKey wrote on their FAQ page that they allegedly were working on their Chinese. We all know what that means! Until they are able to compete against Sougou standards, it will take years! What is this, @SwiftKey? There are millions of Chinese people using smartphones all over the world, and the number is increasing by the minute. Help me out here, please.

Now I'm using Sougou which has excellent Chinese word predictions, but very sh*y English autocorrection (the worst!) and no German at all. Somehow I can live with the English, even though it can be frustrating at times. Sougou autocorrects all my German words to English ones. I mean really?! Can you at least translate accurately? There is just no way to type single-handed in German on a driving subway. I know that voice messengers are on trend right now, but nobody wants to spend all their limited mobile internet data on sending and receiving those things. Besides it's still weird in public, when everybody can listen to your little audio conversation.

Social media kids out of control

I watched a beauty tutorial the other day. The make-up guru used a foundation which was 2 or 3 shades darker than her natural skin tone making her skin appear extremely yellow. At first I wasn't sure if she was actually aiming for a tanned look, but then she said her look was inspired by a quite pale celebrity. So I commented: "Your foundation is too dark." and other viewers agreed. But of course not everyone shared my opinion, there was always someone who screamed "HATER!" Yeah. How did I offend anyone? I don't think there was anything hateful about my remark. In fact, it was rather well-intentioned and not personal, if you know what I mean. If I said "OMG! You look ridiculous!", then people might get offended. I'd probably kill my friends for not telling me the truth before my video got uploaded and clicked by thousands of internet trolls. Maybe this foundation also happened to be part of my daily make-up routine and I'd been going out like this for months. So why didn't anyone close to her warn her?

AFC watch

So I've been watching all the Arsenal games since Özil joined them. (Haha this kinda reminds me, I'd also started watching Real three years ago.) The fans' reactions to the arrival of "The Wizard of Öz" have been so over the top, I was worried they were going to smash his head if he didn't work his magic every day. Özil wasn't gonna win a trophy all by himself obviously.

People liked to think that C. Ronaldo needed the assists from Özil, it actually worked both ways. Less assists for Özil without someone like C. Ronaldo. But Özil's presence may have lifted the spirits of the entire North London club to a new level, everyone has been working and fighting harder. Arsenal is top of the league for the moment, which is impressive. Let's hope this winning streak will continue on. The Wizard himself needs to reach his full potential, then this could be the beginning of a great season.

Following Premier League now because of Özil

As I just said a few days ago, it was about time to find a new club. I was quite hopeful it'd be Manchester United. Monday night it was announced that Mesut Özil was leaving for Arsenal. My initial reaction was shock and unhappiness. It seemed such a step backwards moving to one of those clubs that got rejected by everyone this season. Though no top players signed up for ManU either, at least they got a history of success and recent trophies. Even Chelsea would've been a better fit, since Özil's mentor "the special one" was already there.

Then I heard about the reactions in Spain and the UK. Fans and players of Real were heartbroken, people in London were over the moon. It was really emotional. I never anticipated how popular a German footballer could be in both La Liga and the EPL. The Arsenal idea eventually started to grow on me, when I realized that Özil might become the star of a club where people would adore him. I haven't been interested in the EPL for a while, that's about to change.

If Miley Cyrus only did country music,

she'd probably be one of my favorite contemporary country artists. Back in her Disney days she went with the pop rock flow, now she's doing electro pop. So unnecessary. When she joined Taylor Swift for a Fifteen performance at the Grammy Awards in 2009, everyone could hear this was what she was born to do. She could be an even better country pop ambassador than Taylor is - and Taylor is a phenomenal singer-songwriter - but Miley Cyrus has this natural country twang a lot of people would actually kill for. It's a mystery to me why she doesn't leave autotune to others who don't have a voice like hers. I don't particularly care for her I'm-all-grown-up-and-wild-now reputation either, it seems a little too forced. Country music is traditional, but will never get old. From George Strait to Hunter Hayes, I love to listen to them all. Isn't her dad a retired country musician as well? Too bad, but it's never too late! Check out her rendition of Dolly Parton's Jolene, I'd totally buy this song.

 

Real Madrid 2013/14 squad is insane

Having been an Özil supporter for many years, it's hard for me to watch him get treated like that. If Coach Ancelotti likes Isco and Bale so much, that's good for him. He just shouldn't keep the hopes of Özil and di Maria up, tell them how it is. Of course we all know what those two are capable of, but don't get delusional. There's just no way Isco and Bale are gonna rot on the bench after spending a fortune on them. They sold  Higuain and Callejon, maybe it's time to let go of more offensive players they don't value anymore.

I also don't like how they bought Casemiro and Illarramendi, as they already have Kedhira, Modric and Alonso playing on the exact same position. It may only work out as long as Alonso stays injured. He'll be back eventually, and then what's Ancelotti going to do? That's not even the worst. They also added returning youngster Carvajal to their growing squad. He is known to be an outstanding right back, so Arbeloa might actually be used as a left back. Most world class teams struggle to find 1 decent left back, while Real Madrid has a bunch (Marcelo, Coentrao, Nacho). Utter waste of talent.

I even feel kinda sorry for goalkepper and skipper Casillas, whom I never particularly liked. A living (32years old) Real legend doesn't deserve to be degraded by his childhood club, it's kind of humiliating. It may be best to move on from Real if he wants to make it to the World Cup. It's unbelievable how people get treated in Madrid. Spending 100 Million Euros on one single player, that certainly shows how much they appreciate the squad they already have. They're not expanding their established team, they're building a new team from the ground.

There has been some similar controversy about Bayern, concerning Götze and Alcantara, although it wasn't as over the top as the Real Madrid issue. People were questioning if buying those two was really necessary. We won't find out anytime soon, since both are injured all the time. I feel bad for them, however, their injuries may as well have solved Bayern's first world problem.

UEFA Super Cup 2013 Bayern vs. Chelsea 2-2 (penalty shootout 5-4)

OMG I almost had a heart attack. The entire game was intense! I was certain that Chelsea was winning again. Congratulations to Bayern for never giving up!

Mizon Snail Recovery Gel Cream Review: Real vs. Fake

First of all, I'm not gonna explain in detail why I'm not grossed out by snail extract. When it comes to skin care, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. I needed some time to get over my own fear, but there really isn't anything creepy about it. Now I can't live without snail products. I bought the real one from "Royal Wellness" on Amazon Germany for about 12 Euros (~16 US$) and the possibly fake one from "ideaseller_kr" on eBay (South Korea) for 6 US$. I'm not saying it definitely must be fake, I'm just strongly assuming. There can be fake products on Amazon too, I did receive fake Missha Perfect Cover BB Creams No. 21 and No. 23 from Amazon UK back in April. It always depends on the individual seller if the products are genuine or not.

1. Package:

From color tones to writings, the packages appear to be identical. It was very hard though to pull the silver Mizon Sticker off of the fake one (right), I had to destroy the sticker to open the carton. The real one (left) opened easily.

2. Tube:

The real one (left) has sharper edges on the top, while the fake one (right) has quite round edges and a slightly smaller tube. I have compared both tubes to photographs on www.mizon.co.kr and http://en.koreadepart.com,  realizing that the edges are in fact sharp and not round. There are also differences in colors, as the fake one has a darker pink color and the writings are darker and more visible. [Don't get confused by the big white sticker on the left tube, it's the address of the Amazon seller I bought it from.] They don't have the same caps either, but you can only tell by observing closely.

3. Texture:

Left (real) and right (fake). The texture seems to be very much the same. You can barely tell the difference by looking at and touching it. Both are made of some kind of translucent, water based gel consistency. They feel sticky at first, but absorb quickly and thoroughly, leaving no sticky or oily residue whatsoever. 

4. Scent:

The real one has a little bit of an artificial smell to it, it reminds me of glue. Some people say it smells like plastic. However, the smell disappears right after applying it, so no worries. The fake one has no particular scent, no matter how long I sniffed.

5. Effect:

I've been using the real one as the last step of my skin care routine, applying it after my cleanser, toner, serum or moisturizer and eye cream. It keeps my skin hydrated during day or night. Since I have combination skin (dry spots, oily t-zone), I can tell it works well on both, making my skin firmer and smoother than it was a few weeks ago. I mainly use it to treat breakouts and red spots. It makes fresh breakouts vanish incredibly fast (in a few hours up to 1-2days), but it also heals and brightens older scars and redness if you use it for a longer period of time. I'm not sure if it reduces wrinkles and  fine lines though, I do have fine lines around my under eye area and I haven't noticed any significant improvements. As I've received the fake one today, I can't say anything about the effects yet. Maybe I will update this in a couple of days.

Top 5 Jogi-Löw-And-Bierhoff Excuses...

...Why We Can't Win The World Cup Or European Championship (like ever):

1. "Never in the history of World Cups has a European team won in South America."

The heat, the humidity, the long distances, the whatever and whatever. Might all be true. Did we win it in our own country then? The UEFA recently decided that it'd be a great idea to host the Euro in several countries simultaneously. So what about the travelling and unequal climate conditions?? Remember the Euro in Poland & Ukraine? It was only 2 countries, but there was a lot of travelling back and forth thousands of miles. Needless to say: Best of luck with 20 hosts, UEFA! Thanks for helping Coach Löw create more excuses.

2. "Defense is important, but we stand for magical attacking football."

Personally I didn't feel like cheering, when we defeated Greece 4-2 (Euro 2012 quarter finals). Those results just didn't meet our standards. We only made it to the semi finals and then got knocked out again. A few months later, when we turned a WC qualifying game 4-0 lead against Sweden into a 4-4, I wasn't as surprised as many people were. Last week we embarassed ourselves in another friendly with Paraguay (3-3), though all the first-team regulars except for Schweinsteiger were there and played. Attacking or defending, we basically can do neither. Paraguay grabbed 3 out of 4 chances, while we scored also 3 out of 20ish (!). We didn't even win the game to hide our defense flaws. Honestly, a last minute 4-3 win still would've given me a lot to write about. At this low success rate we would score 0 goals if we got 5 chances, I'm not sorry.

3. "Bayern & Dortmund made it to the Champions League Final this year, however, half of their regulars weren't German nationals."

Seems like Barca and Real don't have any foreigners! If I remember correctly, C. Ronaldo, Mesut Özil, Karim Benzema, Raphael Varane, Marcelo, Sami Kedhira and Angel di Maria are key players of Real Madrid. Whereas FC Barcelona has Dani Alves, Alexis Sanchez, Javier Mascherano, most importantly Lionel Messi, and newly arrived Neymar. Wait a minute, those guys are not from Spain? How did Spain win 3 major trophies in a row? What else you got, Mr Bierhoff.

4. "The Spaniards have played together since childhood. Our team is still very young, their development has not ended yet."

Our U21 team won the Euro back in 2009, so it's safe to say the majority knows each other very well. I feel bad for the likes of Philipp Lahm and Miro Klose, who aren't getting any younger. Maybe we won't find a left-back and a striker like those two in another 30 years. (I can't wait that long!) A playmaker like Mesut Özil is also extremely rare in Germany. Besides, ever since Julian Draxler joined the team two years ago, no outstanding youngsters followed up. We've heard the young-team line since 2006, there is no such thing anymore. Other nations call us "the best national team that never won anything." Thanks I guess for acknowledging that? We should all be grateful being a runner-up for many years. I think it's only fair to honor Coach Löw for being the best national coach who never won anything too. Unfortunately, he won't be remembered for it.

5. "Friendly games give me the opportunity to experiment. We didn't win this game, but I gained valuable insights."

It's been 9 years, next year it's going to be a decade. Even though Löw was assistant coach in the first few years, it's been his strategies all along. We've had enough time to experiment and gain "valuable insights," it's time to take care of our flaws. We got defeated by Italy twice in major tournaments and tied once in a friendly game, nothing in the world can make up for the heartache. We need to prove that we're no longer scared of Italy and that we won't be runner-up to Spain forever. Go the extra mile and show some confidence.

Freundschaftsspiel Deutschland - Paraguay [3-3] in Kaiserslautern

Taktik 4-2-3-1: 
Neuer - Schmelzer, Hummels, Mertesacker, Lahm - Gündogan, Kedhira - Reus, Özil, Müller - Klose

Einwechslungen:
L. Bender für Gündogan (27)
Boateng für Merte (46)
Gomez für Klose (54)
Podolski für Reus (62)
Schürrle für Müller (81)
Jansen für Schmelle (81)

Positive Erkenntnisse:
- Heimvorteil + Deutschland beginnt mit Bestbesetzung
- attraktiver Offensivfußball
- keine Ausreden und Schönreden mehr für Coach Löw
- neuer Denkzettel für Coach Löw

Negative Erkenntnisse:
- schon wieder katastrophale Chancenverwertung
- trotz reiner Offensive nicht mehr Tore geschossen als der Gegner
- schon wieder ungefährlich bei Standartsituationen
- schon wieder katastrophale Defensivleistung, anfällig für jeden Konter

Heute haben wir in der ersten Halbzeit gesehen mit welcher Formation wir in Brasilien antreten könnten. Von den Namen und der individuellen Verfassung her ist es die derzeit beeindruckendste Besetzung. Coach Löw trainiert diese Mannschaft mittlerweile 9 Jahre. Bin ich dankbar, dass wir bei großen Turnieren immer mindestens das Halbfinale erreicht haben? Absolut, das können nicht viele von sich behaupten. Gehe ich davon aus, dass wir nächstes Jahr ewiger Zweiter oder Dritter bleiben werden? Absolut, man gewinnt ein Turnier nur, wenn man hinten stabil steht und seine (geringen) Chancen nutzt. Sind wir noch weiter davon entfernt einen internationalen Titel zu gewinnen als 2006? Absolut, denn da waren wir immerhin noch euphorisiert von der Heim-WM.

Bemerkung an ZDF: Wenn Katrin Müller-Hohenstein wenigstens etwas sinnvolles zu sagen hätte, dürfte sie ausnahmsweise auch mal Oliver Kahn ins Wort fallen. Ein gutes Licht wirft sie jedenfalls nicht auf uns sportbegeisterte Mädels.

That's it?

Pick-up Artist hin oder her, Mutprobe hin oder her. Vertieft in einem Telefonat mit meiner Bank, sprach mich heute ein Typ (brünett, Anfang-Mitte 20) in den Mannheimer Quadraten nach einem PUA Streetgame Schema an. Als ich ihn bat eine Sekunde zu warten, sagte er, er müsse nur rasch was loswerden, fügte ein kurzes Kompliment hinzu - auf das ich nur mit einem verblüfften Danke reagieren konnte - und haute grinsend ab. Das war alles, oder wie?

Zuerst einmal hatte ich damit gerechnet, dass man mich nach dem Weg fragen wollte. Dafür wollte ich zumindest mein Telefonat abschließen. Aber kaum hatte er seinen schlauen Spruch ausgesprochen, war er schon lachend über alle Berge. Hätte ich die Bankangestellte an der anderen Leitung abwürgen und nach seiner Nummer fragen sollen?

In solchen Fällen ist es nur hinderlich, wenn man weiß, wie ein Pick-up Artist operiert. Man kann sich nicht sicher sein, ob ein Kompliment wirklich so gemeint ist oder ob der PUA die Straße runter rennt und Nettigkeiten an alle verteilt, um sein Inner Game zu erhöhen. Aber PUA hin oder her, im Nachhinein ärgert man sich trotzdem, dass man nicht mehr aus der Situation gemacht hat. Sowas ist mir auch noch nicht passiert.

Windstille

下雨吧！别折磨人了。伸长着脖子等雨、等风。

Why Philipp Lahm has remained captain all this time

I've been saying for years that Philipp Lahm could play (almost) any position he wanted, even though nobody quite believed me. Not only has he consistently proven himself to be one hell of a full-back and a solid defensive midfielder, recently he has also started scoring goals as a right winger. There aren't many world class left backs out there. Most of them end up playing that position in their U-teams, because no one else can. Left backs have to defend and attack at the same time, they have to be fast and good at passing the ball, their left foot has to be dominant (or both feet equally strong.)

You don't have to be a fan to acknowledge that Lahm hasn't been replaceable in the national team since he got discovered. Even after he published his controversial book, "bullied" Michael Ballack out of the squad and was overexposed in the media and pretty unlikeable, there was no way anybody could replace him. I didn't agree with what he did, but people got over it eventually. As a true football fan I have to say that the likeability will increase automatically if you have the skills. Other stuff like the drama, publicity or good looks will matter less. [Side blow at David Beckham fans haha! xD Just couldn't resist.]

In addition to all that, Lahm never seems to catch a flu or severe injuries. I remember him playing with a broken arm back in 2006. You gotta admit, this is a strong point. Some incredibly talented footballers get injured every time they get a little push and have to rest for months to come.

The inevitable

We all will die at some point. When I die I don't mind donating some organs and getting buried at sea. Maybe to the sound of a Rascal Flatts song. I don't like the idea of coffin in the ground.

Die Sterntaler 白色之恋

I am a huge fan of the 1995 J-Drama Die Sterntaler 星の金貨 and was really excited when they produced a remake last year. Unfortunately the story ends completely differently. I've been waiting for the worst case scenario all season and until the last minute. The finale was two days ago, but it didn't happen. T-Dramas just aren't tough enough. I love the theme songs though, this is some incredible music.

Guard up

Something doesn't feel right. This guy had been checking me out for a while, so I thought I'd make a move and talk to him (yeah why not.) Eventually I got asked out (that's the trick.) Since a date (or potential date) is coming up, it doesn't feel right any more. I'm not entirely sure if I'm just imagining things, because I want to believe they aren't going to work out anyway. I wonder if I should give it a shot, or call the whole thing off before it even starts. I'm so messed up, I can't even talk about emotions in my native languages.

I didn't know if there was anything there to begin with. We barely knew each other, we weren't friends, I was totally allowed to talk to him, having nothing - like an important friendship or something - to lose. I thought it was a great idea to get to know each other first, instead of rushing into anything, like I did a couple times before. This not-going-out-yet-but-about-to phase should be incredibly exciting and intense, but it's not. We're probably headed towards friendzone (oh great.)

Skin Care Routine: 3 Ways Of Using Almond Oil

1) Daily Moisturizer:

Facial cleansing pad

First off, I wash my face and use an oil-absorbing foam and start spreading and scrubbing it with a facial cleansing pad. After washing it off, instead of taking a towel, I use a cleansing sponge (it doesn't have to be all dry) and pad it onto my wet face. Then I apply some hydrating cleansing milk with a cotton pad. I mix a tiny little drop of almond oil with my day care cream or moisturizer, which isn't oily by the way, and gently blend it out on my face.

I try not to leave the house without a finishing BB cream (it includes foundation and sun block). There is nothing that causes more premature ageing than the sun or a tanning shop. It also helps to sleep early, drink lots of water, drink less alcohol and avoid passive smoking. I actually find it very hard to get enough sleep.

2) Over-Night Regeneration:
Before I go to sleep, I use one finger tip of almond oil and pad it on facial and body parts which tend to get very dry. If you don't have dry skin, think about the parts that get wrinkles easily. These could be the eye area, the hands, elbows, the neck and the forehead.

When I wake up in the morning, my skin usually looks better than during the day. (Don't rub or scratch the eye area - ever. Pad with your weak ring finger.) Almond oil is a very natural and not very expensive product, because I really don't need much. I've spent loads of money on different eye creams which don't even work. It is supposed to keep the eye lashes hydrated too.

3) Lip Repair:
I have very dry, chapped lips. Sometimes when there is a bit of almond oil left over from my skin care routine, I pad it onto my lips, just like normal lip balm. It absorbs very well, unless I take too much.

Damn V Day

Of course I care about V Day. IF it means spending the day with the right person, who wouldnt? Isn't it just plain cruel to wish someone Happy V Day when there is nothing to celebrate? This is typical Chinese behavior. I'm gonna watch Valentine's Day the movie and enjoy Jessica Biel and Jennifer Garner's outbursts. "Now that's open heart surgery!"

Temper

When we were little, I used to constantly fight with my Dad over everything. Our family could barely have one meal together without the fights going on and on, and ruining the atmosphere. The rest of the family was always stuck in the middle, and we somehow managed to not eat together or eat without speaking to each other for many years. There was no point in pretending we were one big happy family, when we weren't. It never was a healthy environment.

Things changed only in recent years, as my Dad and I both became more mature and decided there was no point in making each other's lives more miserable. Or maybe it was my Mom who had gradually taken over the role of making everyone feel uncomfortable and awkward at dinner. When she was in a bad mood and wouldn't talk to any of us, no one dared to have a good time. No one even dared to say a word. We didn't know for sure who exactly she was mad at, but everybody felt guilty. I could think of a hundred things that I'd done which might have upset her. And we would all be worried if AND when she was going to kill us.

Too scared to say "good morning" (because we'd get ignored), but more scared of the consequences if we didn't say it. Imagine this sort of fear for several days straight or even a month. Of course, eventually she'd get over it and we'd all be like "Thank God we survived!" The next time we'd get this vibe from her, our alarm bells would go off like "Uh oh! It's happening again. What did I do/say this time? Aaah, who am I kidding, I can think of a thousand things that she wouldn't approve of!"

We always talked about how it felt less like torture getting screamed at than getting the silent treatment. But who knows? My aunt is a real screamer. Watching her explode a hundred times per day, I wouldn't trade with my cousin for a single minute. Sometimes I hate how stubborn and Asian my family is. Temper is something we're born with, but I'm trying hard to be better. I believe people can change if they think it is necessary, not if someone else tells them to. People will change if they have already experienced losing everything and don't want to experience it again.

What does this mean

Imagine there is this person that you've practically seen sitting right across the hall for months, but never really have taken notice of. When you unexpectedly get to work on a project together, you actually talk to this person the first time. You hit it off right away and you're surprised he turns out pretty different from what you thought he would be. You probably never even thought about it that much, what kind of person he was. He was just someone who was there, you know, some guy across the hall. You've barely had the time to figure it out, now the project is done, you may or may not get the chance to see him again. It really depends on if you want to. I know exactly why you're hesitating. You're thinking, what if he didn't feel like you hit it off at all. What if he never really been aware of your existence either, and still isn't.

Check out Wong Fu's "This is how we never met", very inspiring.

Over you

People always mistake this for a love song. It's not about lovers or anything like that. Originally it was recorded by country superstar Miranda Lambert. Her husband Blake Shelton wrote it about his older brother who tragically died in a car accident at a very young age. If you have any siblings, you'll exactly understand what this message is about, I tear up everytime while watching Miranda's version. Gotta say, one of my favorite songs of 2012, maybe one of the best country songs of all time. Check out Cassadee Pope's beautiful rendition too. 

Where there is hate, there is love or something

At least you still care enough to hate. Some (negative) feelings may never fully disappear. Time and distance will keep your mind off of them until they don't matter much any more. Maybe I'm not ready to seriously meet someone, which is why I keep sabotaging everything on purpose. I'm definitely not the overconfident / arrogant person I used to be anymore. Do I come across friendlier and more approachble now? I'm not sure, it may take more than just not being arrogant. Do I feel lost and confused? Yes, and it's not a good feeling. Will I get over it? Of course, I'm a survivor type, now tell me what to do. xD

Not angry enough

I knew something was off, I just couldn't put my finger on it. Something didn't feel right and I should've listened to that gut feeling. I was bored and needed something to keep my mind occupied. I had gotten used to getting things my way. Then it suddenly became very clear that some things were just not for me. Yes, it seemed a little harsh and embarassing at first. And yes, I felt kinda lost too. Had nothing to lose anymore. Didn't know who I was anymore. Is it okay to admit that? It is okay... for five minutes. Because I hate being vulnerable and I'm at the top of my game when I'm angry. When all the other distracting feelings are gone, anger is the one thing that keeps me alive and going.

After the holidays

When family and friends are gone, all that remains is the emptiness.