Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Top 5 Jogi-Löw-And-Bierhoff Excuses...

...Why We Can't Win The World Cup Or European Championship (like ever):

1. "Never in the history of World Cups has a European team won in South America."

The heat, the humidity, the long distances, the whatever and whatever. Might all be true. Did we win it in our own country then? The UEFA recently decided that it'd be a great idea to host the Euro in several countries simultaneously. So what about the travelling and unequal climate conditions?? Remember the Euro in Poland & Ukraine? It was only 2 countries, but there was a lot of travelling back and forth thousands of miles. Needless to say: Best of luck with 20 hosts, UEFA! Thanks for helping Coach Löw create more excuses.

2. "Defense is important, but we stand for magical attacking football."

Personally I didn't feel like cheering, when we defeated Greece 4-2 (Euro 2012 quarter finals). Those results just didn't meet our standards. We only made it to the semi finals and then got knocked out again. A few months later, when we turned a WC qualifying game 4-0 lead against Sweden into a 4-4, I wasn't as surprised as many people were. Last week we embarassed ourselves in another friendly with Paraguay (3-3), though all the first-team regulars except for Schweinsteiger were there and played. Attacking or defending, we basically can do neither. Paraguay grabbed 3 out of 4 chances, while we scored also 3 out of 20ish (!). We didn't even win the game to hide our defense flaws. Honestly, a last minute 4-3 win still would've given me a lot to write about. At this low success rate we would score 0 goals if we got 5 chances, I'm not sorry.

3. "Bayern & Dortmund made it to the Champions League Final this year, however, half of their regulars weren't German nationals."

Seems like Barca and Real don't have any foreigners! If I remember correctly, C. Ronaldo, Mesut Özil, Karim Benzema, Raphael Varane, Marcelo, Sami Kedhira and Angel di Maria are key players of Real Madrid. Whereas FC Barcelona has Dani Alves, Alexis Sanchez, Javier Mascherano, most importantly Lionel Messi, and newly arrived Neymar. Wait a minute, those guys are not from Spain? How did Spain win 3 major trophies in a row? What else you got, Mr Bierhoff.

4. "The Spaniards have played together since childhood. Our team is still very young, their development has not ended yet."

Our U21 team won the Euro back in 2009, so it's safe to say the majority knows each other very well. I feel bad for the likes of Philipp Lahm and Miro Klose, who aren't getting any younger. Maybe we won't find a left-back and a striker like those two in another 30 years. (I can't wait that long!) A playmaker like Mesut Özil is also extremely rare in Germany. Besides, ever since Julian Draxler joined the team two years ago, no outstanding youngsters followed up. We've heard the young-team line since 2006, there is no such thing anymore. Other nations call us "the best national team that never won anything." Thanks I guess for acknowledging that? We should all be grateful being a runner-up for many years. I think it's only fair to honor Coach Löw for being the best national coach who never won anything too. Unfortunately, he won't be remembered for it.

5. "Friendly games give me the opportunity to experiment. We didn't win this game, but I gained valuable insights."

It's been 9 years, next year it's going to be a decade. Even though Löw was assistant coach in the first few years, it's been his strategies all along. We've had enough time to experiment and gain "valuable insights," it's time to take care of our flaws. We got defeated by Italy twice in major tournaments and tied once in a friendly game, nothing in the world can make up for the heartache. We need to prove that we're no longer scared of Italy and that we won't be runner-up to Spain forever. Go the extra mile and show some confidence.

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