Aiden will be heading home in June. For good this time. I remember it like it was yesterday, when he drove the white VW Touran with our company logo through the snowy roads of No Man's Land to pick me up at the train station in a nearby small town. That was 2 years ago. He was the first person I met here. Aiden had been spending 10 years away from home in this shit hole. If there was anyone who deserved a break, a promotion, a life, it was him. Although I knew he had earned this, I still couldn't help but feel lost. The last few months, I've been trying to cling onto him, ask him for guidance and direction. Aiden was everything to me that my own boss Len wasn't. His presence made me feel a little bit safer in a world where nothing was safe any more. Even though I am more than lucky to count Wyatt, Darren and Mickey among those who I can trust 100%. Losing Aiden will be like losing not only a trustworthy person, but the only influential AND trustworthy person in this place. Whoever comes next won't measure up, it will take years to get to that level of knowledge, experience and familiarity. I don't know if I can wait that long.
Wyatt and I are each struggling in our respective positions right now. Nobody says it out loud, but we both know that Len isn't willing to openly stick up for his own people. He will watch us struggle, and whenever Barry and his people come tear us apart, Len will keep watching. He will leave us for dead. We just weren't smart enough, it was our own fault. I have lost all faith in Len.
I thought I would be happy at some point. Right now I don't even know the purpose or reason of my being here. I want to be happy, I want to enjoy doing what I do. I don't have any of that. At least I need to be hopeful for the future. But I just don't see it any more.
