Thursday, April 30, 2015

Romantic send-off stories

In January I asked Ray out and got rejected. He said he wasn't interested in a relationship at this point and he was sorry if I had received any mixed signals. It was fine, because I wasn't exactly looking for a relationship either. We kept writing each other for weeks until it cooled off.

This Sunday, Jason and I were having drinks at a local pub, when Ray and a bunch of people surprisingly walked in. What were the odds?? We were all pretty excited about running into each other. After asking them to join our table, I told Ray that I was moving to Bavaria in a week. The two of us talked the entire evening and had a great time. On my way home, I had a feeling that he'd get in touch the same night, even though he'd never written at this late hour. I got an email by 1.30 AM, he wished me the best of luck in Bavaria. He also apologized for not properly saying goodbye at the pub, because it happened so fast.

On Monday I informed the Inner Circle that I was moving away. Except for Stan and Jason, I hadn't seen them in months, so I invited all of them to a send-off party on Wednesday. And I invited Ray too, who unexpectedly agreed to come, although he wasn't even in town this week. It turned out to be one of the most fun evenings. It wasn't even awkward with Nev and Neil. We were all talking and laughing. Ray asked me a lot of questions and sometimes touched my arm or something. I made him an armband from a ribbon that my farewell present was wrapped in. He pretended to hide the ribbon in his sleeve, but actually seemed upbeat about it.

At the end of the night, Ray and I waited at the train station together. Suddenly I got pretty nervous. I told myself it was going to be fine, since I'd be moving to Bavaria and forget all about Ray soon. I was prepared to leave with nothing but a nice experience. When his streetcar showed up, he went in for a goodbye hug and then looked at me standing only an inch away, which made me even more nervous. Then he smiled and disappeared. I had to sit down for a minute, because my heartbeat was racing so fast. Tell me that wasn't a clear-cut signal.

I wasn't certain if he'd mail again, but he did as soon as he got home. He mentioned that he was still wearing the ribbon around his wrist. I mean, why all of a sudden...? Didn't he say he wasn't interested? I don't understand. The next day he asked me for my phone number. Just in case of an emergency, he said. Yeah right. What's that even mean? Tell me that wasn't a pretty straight-forward signal.

Monday, April 27, 2015

JCZ's 8th anniversary

I often think about the time that my grandfather and I walked down Siping Road towards the signs of that American car company. He mentioned he wanted to visit us in Germany one last time, although we both knew it probably wasn't going to happen. I pointed to the signs in the distance and told him that he'd totally visit us again, it wasn't that far away. It was right ahead of us like the car company. He laughed and agreed. That was ten years ago. Three days ago was the 8th anniversary of his death. He never made it back to Germany. It was one of the last times we spoke. He is in a better place now, he is actually having a blast somewhere in heaven. That's the most important thing. So I'd like to thank you, grandpa, for watching out for us and making sure that we're doing okay.