Better than ever

After all the downs at work there were some ups again. This entire week was a good one. Things just couldn't go wrong forever. I was alone all week and I got used to it fast. I always do.

Last weekend I introduced Wyatt to my sister. It is still early into the relationship, but I feel happy and adored and comfortable. We can talk about anything, even the uncomfortable stuff. I even started to sleep cuddle, which is basically impossible, because I need space in my subconscious. Personally I am in a good place, better than ever actually. In my heart I know that I won't be happy living in the countryside, but I am hopeful that I will change my mind. 

Working for the same company is a huge advantage for the both of us. When we get discovered, we're not gonna deny anything. On the contrary, we're gonna sell my car and drive to work together. We've been doing our jobs like nothing happened. Wyatt has been traveling and I've been staying behind to run the place. It'll be interesting to know which people will treat us differently. Right now we're still at the very beginning, but things change quickly around here. I am counting on it.

Think again

You think times are rough now?
Think again. They can easily get rougher.
You think this time you won't be able to recover from this?
Think again. You've done it before and you'll do it again.
You think you're on your own here?
Think again. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.

I've been seeing Wyatt for seven weeks now. We are crazy about each other, which is exciting and scary at the same time. Nobody at work has the slightest clue. There are other couples who got married before they started working together. We met through work and never seemed like the obvious couple. Wyatt and I are new and inexperienced, which is why we get underestimated a lot. We want to prove ourselves before we reveal our relationship status. The plan is to be irreplaceable individually, and as a result, be even more irreplaceable as a package. Many people will hate the idea of us being together. They will hate it even more, when they realize what they are potentially up against. Until then, we need to quietly do our jobs, be very patient and disciplined. Eventually, it will all be worth it.

Bring the shit on

I am definitely going through a rough time at work. Len is trying to be critical in a nicer way, but I do feel treated worse than others. He is giving me shit the way he gives the Asian guys all the time. It's just that he doesn't even consider me part of the Asian squad. So I receive shit like an Asian person, but don't get to enjoy the benefits of being Asian. I'm basically nobody to him and I can't deal with that in the long run. I am disappointed in Len whom I considered a greater judge of character. I do think that I am one of the Asian guys, and like any of those guys I would do anything for our boss. We're all here because of Len. We're obviously not here for anyone else, we're all counting on Len to have our backs. We certainly don't enjoy living on the countryside with no good food and no entertainment and no family or friends. Most days are a struggle. I am sad for him, because he takes his own people for granted. Particularly in a foreign country like this he needs all the loyalty he can get. I know that he will go through many rough times on his own, he'll be surprised to learn that his ways and methods clearly won't be working here.

All I want is to feel I belong here. Things are still very much on and getting more serious with Wyatt. In an ideal world we would have met in a different place under different circumstances. Now that we've met in this village in this company, all we can do is keep doing our jobs without getting discovered for as long as possible. Someone will find out eventually and will put both our jobs at risk. I do have something to lose now. I am prepared that people can be cruel sometimes. I'm not gonna let go out of fear.