Taking chances

I'm doing something unexpected. I'm asking Ray out like it's no big deal at all. To some extend it's good to know where you're at, though it might be too early and all too sudden for him. I'm not even sure what I'm hoping to achieve, but I'm asking anyway as there won't be many opportunities in the future. Maybe he is wondering how to respond without hurting my feelings. I don't have much to lose.

Right now I need to distance myself from the inner circle. I need to take a break on my own terms, with my head held high. I don't want to wait until things are damaged beyond repair. Nev and I are having some trust and boundaries issues, I can't go back to the way things were. Ray isn't exactly part of the inner circle, but Nev is practically the center of the entire crowd and involved in everything. He has been quite aggressive towards me lately, looking for reasons to argue, even in the new year.

Nobody is gonna believe that Nev The Saint is the dramatic one here, he'll make sure that everyone feels sorry for him. I really do regret that I used to help him with that. Pansy was a pain in the ass, but I shouldn't have defended him against her. She wasn't my problem after all. Always mind your own business, otherwise one day you'll get stabbed in the back not by weirdo Pansy, but by your own friends. So I'm choosing to hang out with whomever I want when I feel like it. It's now or never.