Right out of the plane

Even though it turned out to be one of the most stressful and intense vacations, I had the time of my life in Asia. I ate everything I wanted, I bought everything I needed and more, I took lots of beautiful pictures, I got my hair and lashes done, I met family and friends, I visited Grandpa's grave, I went to the temple, I made wonderful new memories and also got some closure.

Right out of the plane, I went back to work and got an overwhelming welcome from a group of people. It was the right decision to take off for three weeks, it gave my superiors and colleagues a chance and enough time to miss me. :) But most importantly, it gave me a chance to work on myself, be aware of what I can do, be happy for once and come back stronger than before.

The real work begins after work. I have to do everything I can to distract myself from the isolation here. It is a struggle that I can never and should never get used to. I stopped talking to my coworkers about the struggle though, they never cared anyway.

Mickey and I kept in touch every other day during my vacation. Him and Darren even picked me up from the train station. I still couldn't help but feel like Mickey was starting to pull away a little. Yesterday he suggested we go on a trip on Labor Day, because I might not see much of him in the second half of the year. He'd be living the nomadic life like Winston, who would only be around every forth or fifth weekend.

There is no doubt in my mind that there is more to this than a platonic friendship. This even goes beyond the fun part, since we've been friends for almost a year now. It's just that we're both cowards. The risk of losing everything has never been higher. I can't put everything on the line for something that is so uncertain and will bring about so many consequences. I wish letting go wouldn't hurt at all.