Ghost

The week started off strong. I'd never been happier since I got here, in almost a year that is. It all came to a crushing end, when my boss Len questioned me about the purpose of my being here. Right there I knew he wanted to challenge me, but it still felt like my three-week absence went unnoticed after all.

I am very aware that I haven't reached my full potential and I haven't done everything to make it happen. When people ask about my job, I obviously can't say I'm the person who speaks to every last individual and therefore can make things happen for them or through them. What kind of job description would that be. But it's the truth and if Len doesn't care for my qualities, then my position means nothing and can easily be replaced.

I have stopped reporting to Len a while ago, because it never occurred to him to protect me from Barry. Barry is one heck of a two-faced guy. His one side makes you wanna believe in Santa, the other one will destroy you with a sympathetic smile on the lips. You won't even notice you got screwed over by him. And when you fall to your death, he starts preparing for the day you come back from the dead. He'll be there with open arms treating you like a long lost puppy. That's Barry. If Len ain't protecting me from that, then all I can do is lay low. Not exactly what I got hired for.

Today has been rough. I have to constantly remind myself of who I am and what I am capable of. It doesn't matter that the Asian crew has my back. If I don't have Len's approval, I can't be sure of anything anymore. Nobody knows what I am going through on a daily basis. It's not the task in itself that is hard, it's getting no validation whatsoever for things that you can't even grasp.