Bring the shit on

I am definitely going through a rough time at work. Len is trying to be critical in a nicer way, but I do feel treated worse than others. He is giving me shit the way he gives the Asian guys all the time. It's just that he doesn't even consider me part of the Asian squad. So I receive shit like an Asian person, but don't get to enjoy the benefits of being Asian. I'm basically nobody to him and I can't deal with that in the long run. I am disappointed in Len whom I considered a greater judge of character. I do think that I am one of the Asian guys, and like any of those guys I would do anything for our boss. We're all here because of Len. We're obviously not here for anyone else, we're all counting on Len to have our backs. We certainly don't enjoy living on the countryside with no good food and no entertainment and no family or friends. Most days are a struggle. I am sad for him, because he takes his own people for granted. Particularly in a foreign country like this he needs all the loyalty he can get. I know that he will go through many rough times on his own, he'll be surprised to learn that his ways and methods clearly won't be working here.

All I want is to feel I belong here. Things are still very much on and getting more serious with Wyatt. In an ideal world we would have met in a different place under different circumstances. Now that we've met in this village in this company, all we can do is keep doing our jobs without getting discovered for as long as possible. Someone will find out eventually and will put both our jobs at risk. I do have something to lose now. I am prepared that people can be cruel sometimes. I'm not gonna let go out of fear.