This time it wasn't so much about bad timing. This time it was more about coming to terms with all the bad timings. And realizing that after so many bad timings over the course of 13 years, it wasn't ever going to happen. Shane and I had known each other for 16 years. We met when we were freshmen in junior high, became friends before graduating. I went on to study in the UK, while he stayed. Everytime I came home during the term breaks, we went out and had a great time. After senior high, I moved to China and he eventually started seeing his first girlfriend. He thought it'd be a great idea if the three of us went to his prom together. Actually it was quite awkward for the girlfriend and for me as well.
It didn't happen in college either, as we were in different stages of our lives and interested in different things. One of us was always in a relationship with someone else. While I dated two of the worst Asian boyfriends one could ask for, he dated like the only girl in his entire engineering class for a staggering four years. She dumped him via email and he regretted wasting four years and the passed up opportunities to go out with someone else.
During the last 2 or 3 years, I often thought about catching up with Shane and seeing if there was something there still. So we met up yesterday and it felt like seeing your best friend. We were still totally different people, but there was an unspoken understanding and connection between us. All the bickering from old times, it was like we hadn't been apart for a couple of years. We had a heartfelt conversation last night about how one of us always could picture themselves asking the other one out, but never went for it.
Back then it wasn't so much about our different hobbies and lifestyles. Back then it was more about the fear of making a great friendship very awkward. Maybe in the back of mind, I'd sort of assumed that we'd wind up together at some point, when we were ready. I guess we both assumed wrong. That chapter is closed now and I don't think that we'll get another shot at it, as we will be in our thirties soon. Someone will get married or have kids by then. We're idiots obviously. We're not Rosie Dunne and Alex Stewart obviously.
It didn't happen in college either, as we were in different stages of our lives and interested in different things. One of us was always in a relationship with someone else. While I dated two of the worst Asian boyfriends one could ask for, he dated like the only girl in his entire engineering class for a staggering four years. She dumped him via email and he regretted wasting four years and the passed up opportunities to go out with someone else.
During the last 2 or 3 years, I often thought about catching up with Shane and seeing if there was something there still. So we met up yesterday and it felt like seeing your best friend. We were still totally different people, but there was an unspoken understanding and connection between us. All the bickering from old times, it was like we hadn't been apart for a couple of years. We had a heartfelt conversation last night about how one of us always could picture themselves asking the other one out, but never went for it.
Back then it wasn't so much about our different hobbies and lifestyles. Back then it was more about the fear of making a great friendship very awkward. Maybe in the back of mind, I'd sort of assumed that we'd wind up together at some point, when we were ready. I guess we both assumed wrong. That chapter is closed now and I don't think that we'll get another shot at it, as we will be in our thirties soon. Someone will get married or have kids by then. We're idiots obviously. We're not Rosie Dunne and Alex Stewart obviously.
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