Are you for real

I have known all along that people like Cory or Percy didn't give a crap about me. Once I accepted things how they really were, they didn't seem so bad anymore.

I am all for learning how to deal with and embrace these things. In the past I would've felt hurt and stupid. But honestly, people most likely weren't even trying to hurt or make me feel stupid on purpose. I've never been that important and definitely not worth the time or energy.

Cory thinks of himself as the real deal. All I see is a person who hands out compliments like candy on Halloween, makes promises he can't keep (for no apparent reason) and isn't that reliable as he claims to be. He thinks he is doing well and getting along with lots of people. Most importantly, he believes that he comes across as a no BS kind of guy. It's good to be on good terms with a Cory guy on a business level, he's everybody's darling and America's sweetheart (if only we were living in America). But it's all a waste of time on a personal level. He is the kind of friend that always suggests to do something, but never actually makes it. That's Cory. He's the real deal.

Percy knew he wasn't a good person. Somehow he created this whole other persona just for work purposes. People think he is one decent, boring and very black-and-white person. He goes to great lengths to be someone else on a daily basis, I can't even begin to understand how much determination and focus that requires. I think he is doing an excellent job at being someone else, but I haven't known him that long. If Brent and Killian haven't figured him out in five years, then he is better than I thought, and even more troubled.

Percy is a guy who has reached midlife crisis in his early 30s. He needs some sort of validation in terms of attention from a girl like me, because he isn't satisfied with how life has turned out. He also knows he doesn't have the guts to do anything about it. In order to keep the admiration going, every now and then he sends nice texts and promises he knows he can't keep. It's also good to be on good terms with a Percy guy on a business level. You know you can count on him at work, it's his business persona. And I'm sure he can be one hell of a friend to some people. Not to most people though. He doesn't specifically care for anyone, he only feels sorry for himself.

At the moment I hang out a lot with Killian who is very fun to be around, but a little paranoid and very vocal about pretty much everything. It's great to be on good terms with Killian, he actually comes close to being the real no BS deal and the crowds follow his lead. Then again if you have a disagreement with him, everyone will hear about it too and it can become very dramatic. Who am I kidding, who isn't dramatic in this place.

I am learning to pay less attention to the stuff which doesn't directly concern me or the company. I'm not the team shrink, I can't come to everybody's (or even the majority's) rescue. I have to start taking care of myself first. And convince all the Corys and Percys in a genuine and sincere way that they all are the real deal to me. Everybody wants to be the real deal? Everybody gets to be the real deal. Although I am not particularly happy, I'm trying not to lose my mind here. There are obviously new things to learn everyday and I'll make the most of it while being trapped here.